So begins my countdown of the many reasons that
Twilight will be the most embarrassingly awful film of the year.
I'll start with the biggest problem: the book itself. I mean really? I read the first three to see what all the fuss was about, but by the fourth, I just couldn't handle it anymore. When a half-vampire baby was born, I threw the book down, raised my fists to the heavens, and cried for half an hour. I was sick to my stomach. These books are a joke. If this is where the American novel is headed...well, it's time to run for the hills, my fellow citizens. I'm not even sure what the plot of this series is, but I think it's something about Bella trying to figure out how to breathe. Hasn't the girl heard of wikipedia? They're called lungs, sweetie.
I could go on and on about the plot issues and the redundancy of the language ("his angel face" is officially my least favorite descriptor in literature), but
this person just does it so much better. Read it. Oh dear goodness, read it. The tally is....priceless. Multiply it by 4 and you've got the whole series.
For my next blog, I'll discuss how Twilight glorifies the textbook definition of an abusive relationship. Can't wait!